Seven Things I Learned From My Friend's Death: Part Two
This is continued from yesterday's post, stating seven lessons I learned from the illness and death of my friend, Kim Boling. Again, if you don't know Kim's story, you can read it here.
Lesson #5: I can endure hard things and do it with courage and grace. As I watched Michael and Kim's parents deal with each new day and eventually with Kim's death, I realized that, through the grace of God and His strength, I can do hard things. I can deal with whatever God has for me, because He is my strength (Psalm 18:2,32; Psalm 73:26; Isaiah 12:2). I don't have that strength within myself, but with God's help, I do (II Corinthians 12:9). Unsaved people (and perhaps many saved people) do not and will not understand how a family can deal with the sudden death of their wife and daughter without becoming bitter, but God promises that we can do all things - through Christ (Philippians 4:13) - and His everlasting arms are what hold us and keep us from falling! (Deuteronomy 33:27)
Lesson #6: Every story doesn't end with a miracle or a happy ending. (Isaiah 55:8,9) We get so used to expecting things to work out ok. Almost every book, movie, and tv show has a problem that is solved by the end and everyone is happy. We expect happy endings. When I first heard that Kim was sick and that it was very serious, I couldn't believe that she might not live. Of course, I wanted that miracle and I prayed for it just as fervently as anyone else. But a major life lesson is that we don't always get that happy ending, humanly speaking. God promises that all things will work together for good to them who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28), but He does not promise that we will always get that happy ending.
Lesson #7: Live with the end in mind. If I learned anything, it's to remember that my life will end someday - maybe sooner than I think - and I need to be living with that end in mind. (Hebrews 9:27) Not morbidly, but seriously. Kim was busy doing the important things. She was pouring her life into her husband and children, working in several areas of her church, winning souls to Christ, being a friend . . . she was living, consciously or not, with the end in mind. What will be said at my funeral? Will my husband be able to say I was a loving wife? Will my children be able to say they knew their mother loved them unconditionally? Will my friends be able to say I was an encourager? Will someone be able to say I cared for their soul? In order for those things to be true, I have to live them out each day: I have to be loving toward my husband, loving my children, encouraging my friends, leading souls to Christ. (Romans 12:1,2)
In closing, I want to be sure that every one of you, my readers, if today were the last day you could make sure of it, you would go to Heaven. What if you got sick tonight and by tomorrow morning were in a condition that gave you no more chance to make sure that your eternity is settled? I beg you, and I'm sure Kim would beg you, to make sure of that today. (II Corinthians 6:2) I know personally that Kim's family would be overjoyed if anyone were to be saved through the story of Kim's illness and death. Below is God's very simple plan for knowing that you are going to Heaven.
1. Realize that you are a sinner: "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
We have all sinned; we've all broken God's laws. He gave us His law so that we could know that we've sinned. Have you ever lied? Stolen something? Disobeyed your parents? Taken God's name in vain? These are just four of God's laws, and He gave us ten of them! No matter how good we are, we have all committed sin at some point, and if we've broken one of God's laws, we're guilty of all of them (James 2:10)
2. Realize that sin has a penalty: "The wages of sin is death . . ." Romans 6:23
The payment for our sin is death. We will all experience a physical death, but if we die without our sins forgiven we will experience what the Bible calls the second death: separation from God forever in hell, the lake of fire. You will stand before God someday to give an account for your sins (Hebrews 9:27), and if they have not been forgiven, you will be cast forever into hell (Matthew 7:23).
3. Realize that Jesus paid the penalty for your sins: "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
Even though we owe the penalty for our sins, Jesus came and paid that penalty for us! There had to be a death for sin (Hebrews 9:22). Either we can pay it ourselves, or God will accept the substitute - His Son. His death is able to pay for our sins because Jesus had no sin. No one else, no other substitute, is good enough to pay for your sins (Acts 4:12).
4. Realize that trusting Christ alone will save you: "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:9,10,13
It's as simple as that. Believe in your heart that Christ died for your sin, and call upon Him to save you. Turn away from your sin and turn to Jesus to forgive you. He promised He would save you. Why not trust Him today? "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31
Is there anything holding you back from being saved today? If you're not sure you're saved and would like to talk to someone about it, feel free to contact me through email. I'd love to help you know for sure that you're going to Heaven!
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| Mike and Kim with their four children |
Lesson #5: I can endure hard things and do it with courage and grace. As I watched Michael and Kim's parents deal with each new day and eventually with Kim's death, I realized that, through the grace of God and His strength, I can do hard things. I can deal with whatever God has for me, because He is my strength (Psalm 18:2,32; Psalm 73:26; Isaiah 12:2). I don't have that strength within myself, but with God's help, I do (II Corinthians 12:9). Unsaved people (and perhaps many saved people) do not and will not understand how a family can deal with the sudden death of their wife and daughter without becoming bitter, but God promises that we can do all things - through Christ (Philippians 4:13) - and His everlasting arms are what hold us and keep us from falling! (Deuteronomy 33:27)
Lesson #6: Every story doesn't end with a miracle or a happy ending. (Isaiah 55:8,9) We get so used to expecting things to work out ok. Almost every book, movie, and tv show has a problem that is solved by the end and everyone is happy. We expect happy endings. When I first heard that Kim was sick and that it was very serious, I couldn't believe that she might not live. Of course, I wanted that miracle and I prayed for it just as fervently as anyone else. But a major life lesson is that we don't always get that happy ending, humanly speaking. God promises that all things will work together for good to them who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28), but He does not promise that we will always get that happy ending.
Lesson #7: Live with the end in mind. If I learned anything, it's to remember that my life will end someday - maybe sooner than I think - and I need to be living with that end in mind. (Hebrews 9:27) Not morbidly, but seriously. Kim was busy doing the important things. She was pouring her life into her husband and children, working in several areas of her church, winning souls to Christ, being a friend . . . she was living, consciously or not, with the end in mind. What will be said at my funeral? Will my husband be able to say I was a loving wife? Will my children be able to say they knew their mother loved them unconditionally? Will my friends be able to say I was an encourager? Will someone be able to say I cared for their soul? In order for those things to be true, I have to live them out each day: I have to be loving toward my husband, loving my children, encouraging my friends, leading souls to Christ. (Romans 12:1,2)
In closing, I want to be sure that every one of you, my readers, if today were the last day you could make sure of it, you would go to Heaven. What if you got sick tonight and by tomorrow morning were in a condition that gave you no more chance to make sure that your eternity is settled? I beg you, and I'm sure Kim would beg you, to make sure of that today. (II Corinthians 6:2) I know personally that Kim's family would be overjoyed if anyone were to be saved through the story of Kim's illness and death. Below is God's very simple plan for knowing that you are going to Heaven.
1. Realize that you are a sinner: "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
We have all sinned; we've all broken God's laws. He gave us His law so that we could know that we've sinned. Have you ever lied? Stolen something? Disobeyed your parents? Taken God's name in vain? These are just four of God's laws, and He gave us ten of them! No matter how good we are, we have all committed sin at some point, and if we've broken one of God's laws, we're guilty of all of them (James 2:10)
2. Realize that sin has a penalty: "The wages of sin is death . . ." Romans 6:23
The payment for our sin is death. We will all experience a physical death, but if we die without our sins forgiven we will experience what the Bible calls the second death: separation from God forever in hell, the lake of fire. You will stand before God someday to give an account for your sins (Hebrews 9:27), and if they have not been forgiven, you will be cast forever into hell (Matthew 7:23).
3. Realize that Jesus paid the penalty for your sins: "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
Even though we owe the penalty for our sins, Jesus came and paid that penalty for us! There had to be a death for sin (Hebrews 9:22). Either we can pay it ourselves, or God will accept the substitute - His Son. His death is able to pay for our sins because Jesus had no sin. No one else, no other substitute, is good enough to pay for your sins (Acts 4:12).
4. Realize that trusting Christ alone will save you: "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:9,10,13
It's as simple as that. Believe in your heart that Christ died for your sin, and call upon Him to save you. Turn away from your sin and turn to Jesus to forgive you. He promised He would save you. Why not trust Him today? "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31
Is there anything holding you back from being saved today? If you're not sure you're saved and would like to talk to someone about it, feel free to contact me through email. I'd love to help you know for sure that you're going to Heaven!
I appreciate these thoughts. Ecc. 7:2a says "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting:..." I've found that to be true. A party is fun, but it doesn't change me. When I go to a funeral, I am changed. I'm brought back to the reality that my time on Earth is limited, that death comes to all, and I must keep my eyes on Jesus. Serving Him is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your saying that all of life won't have a happy ending. I was just recalling yesterday how, as a young girl, I misunderstood a sermon my pastor preached. He said that the only way to be happy was to live for God and do His will. I interpreted that (at about age 12) to mean I would always *feel* happy. Now, I know what he meant. I wouldn't always *feel* good, but I do have a peace in my heart and a great joy that I am doing what is right, that I'm serving God with my life...though I do need to do better! :)
Anyway, sorry for writing such a long comment! It's so nice to have places on the internet to visit that offer encouragement and strength. Hope you have a great day! :)
Long comments are good! They lead to more thoughtful conversation than just a brief "great post" comment does.
DeleteGood point about the verse in Ecclesiastes. Kim's death, for some reason, brought that home to me more than these things usually do.
I think one of the problems we have as a society in general is that we think everything should have a happy ending. That's why there are no "losers" in games anymore, no one is ever "left out", and why people reject the Gospel, because it is exclusive - ye must be born again. God doesn't owe us a happy ending! And happiness is not just a feeling. Maybe I should just write a blog post, rather than try to fit everything into a comment! LOL But you're right!
Wow Susan, somehow I missed this whole thing....I'm very sorry about your friend, but am glad to know she is in heaven.
ReplyDeleteAnd your two posts were very sobering reminders of things I need to work on in my life.
Thank you....
PS--the link to Kim's story doesn't go anywhere, I guess you have to have a password to read it.
Yes, for the Care Page you do need to register. I didn't think about that when I posted the link. I'll have to get you the story. She got sick with the "flesh-eating disease" and died within two weeks, a young, healthy 36-year-old wife and mother. It was a sobering, heartbreaking, yet faith-building couple of weeks for all of us who knew her.
DeleteBoth your posts are beautifully written. I am so sorry for your loss, but what a wonderful God Who cares for us in our darkest hour and can turn everything around for our good.
ReplyDeleteTwo dear beautiful ladies from my church have recently died. I was particularly heartbroken over the death of one because a chest infection had prevented me from seeing her in her final days. She had been suffering from cancer for ten years. Such a wonderful lady, so kind and so generous and with such a great sense of humour. I couldn't understand why God let her suffering continue and though I wanted her to be healed I wondered why the Lord didn't take her home to relieve her pain. But God knew that she didn't have that assurance of eternal life. It wasn't until the time came close that she finally found that assurance and she was able to let go. She had battled and struggled through her illness with great fear of death. But at the end she found peace. I was so glad to hear it, I didn't know about her struggles, it is so easy to presume that our brothers and sisters at church have that assurance.
As you say in your post, we never know the moment that our souls are required of us. We need that blessed assurance of Jesus Christ in our lives.
The other thing that I've learned is that we need one another in the Body of Christ. The other lady who has died, her husband is really being lifted both in prayer and by practical means by our church. I know that I need my brothers and sisters, that is how God wants His church to function to lift one another up, to exhort, to encourage and to care for one another. It's that love that shows the world that we are disciples of Christ.
Sorry long comment, I will keep Kim's family and you in my prayers.
Many blessings.
Sarah
Sarah, I'm so sorry for the loss of the two ladies in your life recently! I'm glad the one lady with cancer finally got assurance of her salvation; what a wonderful thing! God uses these things to grow each of us and build up the body of Christ.
DeletePlease don't worry about a long comment! Those types of comments open the door to more conversation and interaction, and I appreciate your taking the time to express your thoughts so clearly.
I see someone else posted the verse from Ecc. as well. :-)
ReplyDeleteI can "amen" all of these points, Susan.