Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Thirty Years

Today is the 30th anniversary of my mother’s death from complications of diabetes. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that she’s been gone that long. In some ways it seems like a very short time, but it really has been a long time.

I wanted to have something deep and wise to say today, but I’m neither deep nor wise. I’m just a girl who has survived, by God’s grace, the early loss of a parent. I can assure you that time does help ease the pain – ease it, not erase it – and that we can do hard things. By God’s grace.

I can also assure you that Romans 8:28, though sometimes glibly quoted to people during times of sorrow, is still in the Bible and it’s still true. God does work all things for our good . . . even the seemingly early death of a mother. He knew the day of her death on the day of her birth. He knew on the day of my birth the day that my mother would leave me. It didn’t surprise Him, and He had a plan, and His plan has been good. He does all things well!

All that is not to say it’s always been easy or that I’ve just gone through life with no problems with or about my mother’s death. I haven’t always been good or accepting of God’s will. We all question why at times, and I have had those times. I’ve been mad and I’ve been bitter, and I’ve cried a lot of times. What I am saying is that God is real, and His help is real when we ask for it, as is His forgiveness. And He gives grace to bear the things He allows in our lives. I have 30 years of proof!

I couldn’t let today go by without honoring my mother’s memory. She did well. She bore her illness with dignity and little complaint. She was a good friend and had good friends in return. She loved to laugh and I remember her as a happy person with a positive outlook on life. I’m thankful for the 16 years I had with her and for her part in who I am today.


Jane Rogers Holden

March 20, 1944 – July 20, 1981


  1. Thirty years is so long...I'm sorry!

    You look a lot like your mom!

  2. Hi Susan ~ You definitely favor your mom. I'm so sorry that you've had to be without her for so long.

    Also, I'm just seeing the posts this afternoon of Andrew in Japan. I hope he gets along alright and has caught up somewhat on his rest!

  3. Was her hair red? She looks like she could've been my mom's younger sister with the red hair and freckles.

    I can identify with what you say here even though my mom has only been gone five years. I suppose we'll never stop missing them til we get to heaven, but, as you say, time and God's grace do ease the pain.

  4. What a God-honoring and Mom-honoring post.

    You look so much like her. (o:

  5. Tammy ~ It's amazing how long it's been. I used to think 30 years was a lifetime! Yes, I do favor her quite a bit.

    Deb ~ Andrew seems to be doing well. The pictures I've seen show him looking much better than he did last Friday!

    Barbara ~ Yes, she was red-headed, more of an auburn color, but with the fair skin and freckles. I don't think it would be possible in this life to not miss our loved ones, but God does make it bearable.

    Michelle ~ She was a good mom! I do look a lot like her, but I have some of my dad in me too - more his actions, I guess. My half sister, who has a different mother than I do, is shaped a lot like me and we share some of the same mannerisms even though we have never lived in the same house together. Must be our dad!

  6. Thanks for sharing about your mom, Susan. She would be so proud of you and your testimony!

  7. what a sweet and sad story, Your mom looks so nice and I am sorry her life on earth was so short.
    I think she would be proud of you.

  8. Thank you so much for being real. This post touched my heart. Your mother would be so proud of you! You honor her very well.


  9. Mrs. C ~ Thank you for your kind words! I hope she'd be proud of us, especially her grandchildren!

    Rhonda ~ Thank you! It was a short life, but that just serves to remind me of how blessed I am to have lived 46 years already and hopefully have many more to come.

    Valerie ~ Real is all I should be. No need to look like something I'm not! ;) Thanks for your sweet comment!


Thanks for taking a minute to read my ramblings and leave a comment! I appreciate it!

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