Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I Don't Know What It Is

I don't know what's going on with me. It seldom happens, and seldom lasts very long. But it does happen, for no apparent reason. I'm having a case of what a former pastor of ours would call the mully-grubs. I'm in a funk. Cloud. Haze. Whatever you want to call it, I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I don't know why.

Everything's good right now. Nobody is sick, dying, or dead in my immediate circle of loved ones. The weather is fantabulous this week; no rain in sight till early next week (at least right now, anyway). Nobody has been mean to me. We aren't in horrible debt, at least no more so than usual. We have plenty of food (too much is more like it).

I've been like this since yesterday afternoon. I did wear myself out yesterday, by mid-afternoon even. So I'm thinking I'm just tired.

I've gone through these little times enough to know that it will pass, probably quickly, and I'll be my usual head-in-the-clouds goofy cheery self again soon. I have been looking in my Bible a bit more today, and I found a couple of very familiar verses that spoke to me in a different way today. In I Peter 5:6,7, Peter urges the Christians scattered abroad to "humble yourselves therefore under the might hand of God . . . casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you." Now, one thing that happens when I get in one of these moods is that I take everybody's cares and make them my own. I brood over each one, trying to figure out how I can help, or more likely, fix it. Because I like for everybody to be happy and have a bright, sunshiny life. And when I can't do a single, solitary thing to help or fix the problems, I get discouraged. And that has been my battle today.

I have friends and family who have things I wish I could fix for them. Some little, some big. But not one of them is something that I can do one thing about. So when I read in I Peter that I should humble myself and cast my cares on the Lord, it spoke to me loud and clear. When I fret over what I can't fix, I'm basically lifting myself up to God's level and upset when I can't do God's job. I have to humble myself and own up to God that I can't do a thing for the people I care about; that's His job. Then I have to give those cares to Him and let Him take care of them.

So I sat down and cried a little, and yes, even whined over what I can't do anything about. I told God all the little things I was carrying around on my shoulders, and then I gave them to Him. It's real easy to go back and get 'em, too, let me tell ya! LOL But I learned all over again that God cares about my cares.

Thank you, Lord! Things are looking up already!


  1. Thanks fro dropping by and leaving your comment. Right now, where we are all at is safe. Praying things go ok for our trip to the airport tomorrow .

  2. Hi Susan --

    I think you've done the best thing you can possibly do in this situation -- you've cast your care on the Lord, remembering how much He cares for you and those you care about. My life is filled with situations like that right now. I spend a *lot* of time praying...

    Also, I have noticed in life that invariably, following a big effort (even a very happy one, like your recent visit from your in-laws) a letdown follows. I have seen this pattern so many times that it no longer surprises me when it happens. The best solution I've found is always to draw closer to the Lord.. take some extra time in prayer and Bible study. I love having my devotions on the porch this time of year. The tranquil beauty of nature soothes and comforts me.

    Hoping you feel much better soon.

    God bless,

  3. Just sending hugs my friend! :o)

  4. Awww Susan! Here's a hug-((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))

    Praying you feel better soon! You have been doing a whole lot of work, I don't know how you do it!!

  5. Hi Susan,
    I had my melt down yesterday. Did you get a package yet from me?

  6. Hope you're doing better. Prayers just said for ya. I wonder if it's caused by the diabetes. My diabetes has caused me to get depression & I have good & bad days. But God somehow sees me thru it. Hang in there... :)

  7. Rita, I'm so glad you all are alright - please take care!

    Mrs. T - thank you so much for your encouragement! I have noticed that letdown you speak of, but I still feel it, even when I know it's nothing "real." Praise the Lord I'm back up and running again!

    Thank you for the sweet hugs, Jodi and Sarah! You're both a blessing to me!

    Elizabeth, I haven't seen anything from you yet, but don't worry. We've had things arrive within a few days from the US, and we've had them arrive in a few WEEKS. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it - we just wait! LOL Hope you're doing better today!

    Cheryl, thanks for your prayers! I have read that diabetes can cause depression. I'm sure that could be a part of it.

  8. Quite some time back I came across Psalms 43 & realized it was speaking to my depression. Esp verse 5. Why art thou cast down, O my soul?

    And why art thou disquieted within me?
    Hope in God: for I shall yet praise him,
    who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

    I used KJV here since ya'll like that one the best but the Holman version of the Bible really puts in words what I was going thru with my depression.

    Psalms 43: 5 (Holman Bible)

    Why am I so depressed?
    Why this turmoil within me?
    Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him,
    my Savior and my God.

    I could never decide what my life verse was but after seeing this one & it kept coming up, I decided it's my life verse. I hope it helps anyone out who is going thru this...


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