Today is the 27th anniversary of the day my husband and I said, "I do!" It sure doesn't seem like we've been married 27 years already; the time has just flown by. As I was trying to decide what to post today for a devotional, I remembered a quick little study I'd done back in 2008 on the wife's responsibilities in marriage. I decided to repost that this week, as it fit in nicely with our anniversary today. Mind you, I don't live by each one of these every minute of every day - sometimes not even every day of every week! - but after 27 years, I've learned that I can trust what God says about marriage, put it into practice, and reap the benefits of a happy, contented marriage.
Let's start with the obvious commands given to the wife . . .
1. Wives are to submit to and reverence their husbands – Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, and Ephesians 5:33
That’s it. Two little commands, but not so easy to obey all the time!
Those are just for us, wives. Although husbands have responsibilities
to us wives, that’s not the point of this post. There are quite a few
more commands about relationships with others, that, if we put them into
practice, just might make a difference in our marriages, changing us
wives as well as our husbands, and making our homes happy places . . .
without having to degrade our men by training them like animals! So
here we go.
2. Wives should have meek and quiet spirits – I Peter 3:4
This is not mousy and timid, but a conscious decision to give control
to our husbands (and ultimately to God), and remain calm within our
spirits. Meekness is not weakness; it is strength under control. God
values these characteristics in a woman, and I know that my husband
values them in me . . . when I actually exhibit them!
Most of the rest of these commands are the "one another" commands: guidelines for all Christians to live by concerning personal relationships with others. If we're to do these for "one another," then don't you think "one another" includes our husbands too?!
3. Wives should be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving – Ephesians 4:32
Treat your husband with basic kindness. Have a tender heart, one that
believes the best of him. Forgive him. He’s going to make mistakes
(as are you), so just decide that you’ll forgive him before he forgets
to take out the trash - again! ;)
4. Wives should have gracious words – Colossians 4:6
Stop a minute and think of how you speak to your husband. It’s no
wonder my husband snaps at me on occasion (but very seldom), the way I
sometimes get snippy with him! A soft answer turneth away wrath, but
grievous (harsh) words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
5. Wives should be edifying to their husbands – Romans 14:19
Edifying is building someone up! Give him some positive words and
looks and see what happens. I’ve read that one of a man’s basic needs
is admiration, and he needs it from his wife more than anyone else on
earth. I sure don’t want my husband’s need for admiration to be met by
someone else, especially not another woman.
6. Wives should show preference to their husbands – Philippians 2:3
This verse speaks of being kindly affectioned toward another, in
honour preferring them . . . to prefer someone is to regard them or
honor them above yourself. In other words, to put them and their
desires first. Keep them first in your thoughts. That was easy when
you were dating, wasn’t it? He was my first thought in the morning, and
my last thought at night. After 23 years of marriage, can I say that
that is still true?
7. Wives are to show affection to their husbands – Titus 2:4
That “love their husbands,” according to Strong’s Concordance, matches
the Greek word philandros, from which we get our English word
philander. Be affectionate with your husband: hold his hand; massage
his neck and back; give him lots of kisses and hugs. Ladies, as gently
as I can say it . . . knock his socks off! He needs you and the
affection that only a wife can and should give. You will never regret
being affectionate, and you will have a very happy man!
9. Wives should be forbearing – Colossians 3:13
This goes back to forgiveness. Forbearance is just simply putting up
with each other. Men and women are different (I know that’s a
shocker!), and we will always get on each other’s nerves. Your
co-workers, your children, your siblings, your neighbors, your fellow
church members – everyone in your life – all get on your nerves at some
time or other, and with most people, we grin and bear it. Why not with
10. Wives should be compassionate, loving, courteous – I Peter 3:8,9
These verses are in the context of marriage! Courtesy: simple things
like saying please and thank you or excuse me. Loving here is brotherly
love – companionship. Compassion. We have more compassion for the
poor across the world than we do for our husbands (it’s good to have
compassion for the poor – just make sure you have it for man you love
11. Wives should practice the “Golden Rule” – Matthew 7:12
We commonly say “do unto others as ye would have them do unto you.”
Hmmm. You mean if I want to be treated well, I should treat others
well? Even my husband? Wow! What an amazing concept! Kind of sounds
like “you reap what you sow” too. Want respect? Give respect. Want
honesty? Give honesty.
12. Wives should be trustworthy – Proverbs 31:11,12
Can your husband trust you with everything? Money, his confidences,
his dreams? One thing that my husband really appreciates is that he can
trust me with money. For a man who works hard for that money and
stretches it as far as he can every week, being able to trust his wife
not to blow it is a big thing. A man won’t share his hopes and dreams
if he thinks (or knows!) that you will tell your best friend or your
mother every little thing. Be trustworthy!
I’m sure I could find
much, much more, but these are the things I’ve written down over the
past week as I mulled over the degrading, demeaning treatment of husbands encouraged by feminism. Let’s treat our husbands well, and see
the Lord bless our men and our marriages with real joy. Ignore the
feminists, and renew your mind with God’s ways.