Today is the 30th anniversary of my mother’s death from complications of diabetes. I can hardly wrap my mind around the fact that she’s been gone that long. In some ways it seems like a very short time, but it really has been a long time.
I wanted to have something deep and wise to say today, but I’m neither deep nor wise. I’m just a girl who has survived, by God’s grace, the early loss of a parent. I can assure you that time does help ease the pain – ease it, not erase it – and that we can do hard things. By God’s grace.
I can also assure you that Romans 8:28, though sometimes glibly quoted to people during times of sorrow, is still in the Bible and it’s still true. God does work all things for our good . . . even the seemingly early death of a mother. He knew the day of her death on the day of her birth. He knew on the day of my birth the day that my mother would leave me. It didn’t surprise Him, and He had a plan, and His plan has been good. He does all things well!
All that is not to say it’s always been easy or that I’ve just gone through life with no problems with or about my mother’s death. I haven’t always been good or accepting of God’s will. We all question why at times, and I have had those times. I’ve been mad and I’ve been bitter, and I’ve cried a lot of times. What I am saying is that God is real, and His help is real when we ask for it, as is His forgiveness. And He gives grace to bear the things He allows in our lives. I have 30 years of proof!
I couldn’t let today go by without honoring my mother’s memory. She did well. She bore her illness with dignity and little complaint. She was a good friend and had good friends in return. She loved to laugh and I remember her as a happy person with a positive outlook on life. I’m thankful for the 16 years I had with her and for her part in who I am today.
Jane Rogers Holden
March 20, 1944 – July 20, 1981