Monday, July 12, 2010

Completing Him: Week 5


This week's Completing Him Challenge over at Women Living Well is to make our husband's priorities for us our priorities:
Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.
When I asked Wes for his priorities for me, he went blank. I asked him to just tell me what were the most important things to him for me to do each day. He was still blank! Then he said, "Honey, we just live. We do what needs to be done each day, and we give and take together . . . we just live." I was amazed as I realized that that statement sums up our marriage! We each strive to be "submitting yourselves one to another" as it says in Ephesians 5:21. After 25 years of marriage, I can say that my husband has always done his best to make me happy, and we have a very balanced relationship - we each submit to the other in so many ways!

Having said that, though, I have been thinking of the things I know that he likes for me to do each day. He is not a man who has to have the house spotless every day, with meals on the table at specific times and the laundry hamper empty and freshly starched shirts hanging in perfect order in the closet. He does like for the house to be reasonably clean and picked up. He likes hearty meals - sandwiches are fine occasionally, though - served at around the same time each day. He likes to open his underwear drawer and find clean underwear there (not still in the basket unfolded), and when he needs an ironed shirt, he'd prefer it be ironed before he starts getting dressed. He likes for the bed to be made and cleared off when he's ready to go to bed, and he likes me to be in it when he goes to bed! He likes for me to snuggle up with him as we go to sleep. He likes to be on time when we have somewhere to go, so on Sunday mornings I try to be ready and waiting for him when he's ready to leave for church. He likes for me to smile. He likes lots of hugs and kisses in the privacy of our home, but he's not crazy about making a display of ourselves in public, most of the time. Every now and then he'll pull off a kiss in front of our church family, which they love! LOL So, although he doesn't make demands of me or try to set my priorities for me, I know what pleases him and I try to make those things my priorities.

I'm not discounting Courtney's instruction to find out my husband's top 5 priorities for me. I am saying, though, that for my husband, this week's challenge was not a priority for him! He's pleased with how we operate. Our son would say, "That's just how we roll!" ;) You might ask your husband the same question and he'd have lots to say about it. If so, listen to him! But if he is content with how things are, and you are doing your best to please him, then be happy with that and keep doing whatever you're doing!

10 comments:

  1. So funny, your husband sounds like my husband. I think I will ask him, though, just to see what he says. Good study. Gail

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  2. Great post! I guess our husbands are similar! :-)

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  3. This was great!!! I so enjoyed it.

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  4. Gail ~ I'd love to know what he says! LOL

    Jennifer ~ Most of the men I know seem to be a lot like mine - just happy to live life with the lady they love!

    Diana ~ Glad you enjoyed it!

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  5. Great post - I saw this challenge earlier and thought it sounded like a good idea but those type of activities can be so tricky for me...most likely, because I would get a very similar response - blank. Your marriage sounds special!

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  6. Jennifer ~ Our marriage is good, but only by the grace of God! It's special because we know the Lord.

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  7. Susan - your post speaks to the strength of your communication in marriage. You know your husband and his needs, listen to him and already are doing the things he needs. This speaks to your character and submissive heart.

    Beautiful post! I pray we all get to this place in our marriages where it flows...

    And by the way, I'm married to the guy you mentioned above lol - this guy:

    "He is not a man who has to have the house spotless every day, with meals on the table at specific times and the laundry hamper empty and freshly starched shirts hanging in perfect order in the closet."

    Yep, that's my man! Having perfectly starched shirts is on his top five list lol!!! Bless his heart!! Our husband's are all so different - but we all have one goal to glorify God in our marriages! What an amazing pastor your husband must be and I'm sure it has something to do with his godly wife!!!

    Thanks for posting!
    Courtney

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  8. Courtney ~ Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I know hosting a challenge like this takes a lot of time. Thank you, also, for your kind words. I have to say that the Lord knows exactly who to pair us with, because any man like your husband who was married to me would be very unhappy - because it would have taken all these 25 years for me to get those starched shirts just right! LOL I praise the Lord for the man He's given me, as you do for your husband!

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  9. I think my husband would respond much the same way. You learn likes, dislikes, and preferences along the way and do your best to incorporate them.

    I did learn that he would much rather have a simple meal than a lot of fuss and bother and stress over a more elaborate one.

    In some of those early years when I wouldn't always have clean laundry where it was supposed to be, he wouldn't gripe, complain, or rebuke, but he would just calmly ask me if there were any clean t-shirts in the dryer. That was much more of a rebuke to me and an incentive to have his laundry in the drawer so he wouldn't have to go searching for it. And I try to remind myself of his graciousness when I get perturbed over little oversights and "do likewise."

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  10. Barbara, it's amazing how alike our husbands are! I learned the same way you did about having the laundry done: by having Wes ask if there was a clean t-shirt somewhere - no anger or accusation. And you're right, that speaks to me far more than anger would. He's been that way about everything. It's a blessing to know there are other husbands like mine out there! :)

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Thanks for taking a minute to read my ramblings and leave a comment! I appreciate it!

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