I'm making soups for supper tonight. For Wes and the kids, potato soup. For myself - and anyone who would like to have some - vegetable soup. Cornbread on the side - that southern gal coming out in me! As I've mentioned before, I'm diabetic. I've tried to switch the whole family to a lower carb diet, but I'm going to have to do it itty bitty steps at a time. Our southern way of eating has always been gravies and biscuits and fried foods, lots of corn, potatoes, beans, and breads. All of that stuff is not so great for a diabetic, and since I'm the one that's diabetic, I've just cooked and eaten what we always have, with a few modifications. Now, if it were my husband or one of my children, I would have changed completely a long time ago (you wives and moms know what I'm talking about here!), but it's just me, so . . . I eat well for a while, then I slip back into the old ways again.
Well, we've been so busy the past few weeks that I've just stuffed whatever was in front of me into my face. Chocolate chip cookies, sausage biscuits, scalloped potatoes, lasagna, rolls, french bread . . . see the problem? They're all high in carbohydrates. All carbs aren't all bad, but a diabetic can't eat so many carbs and still feel well. I've begun to feel bad physically and emotionally. I don't know what the emotional connection is with diabetes, but in the months before I was diagnosed, I was so depressed. This week, I've been feeling that way again, for no good reason. I've been anxious, moody, grumpy . . . I knew I'd been eating bad, so I knew it was probably because of too many carbs. So when I made our grocery list this week, I wrote down everything - everything - that I would eat, all the veggies, fruits, milk products, proteins. I've begun to eat better. All of my carbs are now coming from the "good" carbs - fresh fruits, vegetables, low fat milk products, whole grain breads . . . not cookies, chips, potatoes, and white bread - and I'm slowly perking up again. As I feel better, my mind is clearing, and life is beginning to brighten again.
I learned when I was diagnosed with diabetes that sometimes we feel miserable or have a hard time coping with things because something is wrong physically. I thought that I was dying spiritually at that time. I felt like God was not there, or more likely, that I had done something wrong somewhere along the way, and He couldn't fellowship with me anymore, although I couldn't figure out what I'd done. After I got treatment for my diabetes, I realized that I didn't feel that way anymore. My mind was clear once again, and I could see clearly into my heart and know if there was really something between me and God. The point of my rambling here is that we women sometimes suffer emotionally because we're suffering physically, or we suffer spiritually because something physical is wrong. Satan loves to deceive us, and he'll use whatever he can to cause us harm. So I guess what I'm trying to say is make sure you stay healthy. If you're having emotional or spiritual problems, find out what's causing them. If there's sin you need to confess and forsake, do it; but if you're "just not feeling good" maybe there's something wrong physically. Get it checked out. I'm so glad my husband figured out what was wrong and had me go to the doctor (my mother was diabetic, so he had a pretty good idea of what was wrong). And when I get to feeling that same way, I check up on myself to see if I'm slipping back down again. I'm slowly - ever so slowly - learning that I do have to take care of myself.